The truth is that even with all my excitement, I am extremely anxious. Like, traveling back to high school, anxious. I am struggling with all the same fears about how I will be received, and if I will be accepted and if I will be doing things wrong.
I am positive that I am not the only Blissdom attendee who is feeling these emotions. Logically, I know that everything will be fine, and that others are just like me, there to make connections and get bloggy love and support. But it doesn't stop the fluttering in my tummy.
I am sure my coping skills are causing more harm than good. I don't like to dwell on things, it makes me anxious, and I run the risk of either talking myself out of it, and in extreme situations shutting down completely. So I have developed a way of not thinking about events, until the last minute. Yes, it is in the back of my mind, and I am always prepared, but if I don't make a big deal out of it, I can buck up, let my self-confidence shine and sail through. And I usually do OK. It was how I made it through a year of my husband being over seas. I just couldn't think of the whole thing at one time. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying this is the healthiest way to deal with things, it is just my way. But I see that I have been missing out on some of the pre-conference connections that are happening, which makes me even more anxious and causes me self doubt. ERGH!!!
However, I am calmed and ecstatic to attend the the Newcomer Meet up. I am excited to meet everyone, and the funny thing is, even with all my anxieties, I am a social person who loves to gab. I hate to say it, I have been accused of to talking too much.
Well here I am, if you see me at Blissdom, please come and Hi, I really want to meet you.